‘Nobody Wants This’ has something against its Jewish women

The word “shiksa” is Yiddish for a gentile woman — in other words, a non-Jewish woman who is in some way antithetical to Jewish values. 

If you are non-Jewish and don’t know much Yiddish, you may have never heard this word. However, if you’ve happened to watch “Nobody Wants This,” Netflix’s popular new romcom series starring Noah the Rabbi (Adam Brody, “The O.C”) and Joanne (Kristen Bell, “The Good Place”), the non-Jewish woman who dares to tempt Noah from his predetermined Jewish love life, you may have heard the word circulating. It’s used rather carelessly in the context of the series. When Noah’s family first spots Noah and Joanne together at their temple, his mother Bina (Tovah Feldshuh, “Golda’s Balcony”) calls her a “shiksa” as she incessantly questions Noah about his relationship with Joanne. 

In this moment, viewers are supposed to view Bina and the rest of Noah’s family as intrusive and annoying. I mean, how could they not? Every last one of them seems hell-bent on burning Joanne and Noah’s relationship to the ground. But the thing is, before I even turned on the television and started watching the series, I knew I wasn’t going to like Noah’s family. I knew I would be made to despise his mother, his sister-in-law Esther (Jackie Tohn, “GLOW”) and any of the other Jewish women the show introduced us to. As much as “Nobody Wants This” portrays a heart-warming romantic plotline full of undeniable chemistry and sweet moments, it relies on a scaffolding of Jewish stereotypes that are second nature in television and film production. 

“Nobody Wants This” takes place in LA and follows Noah and Joanne as they navigate a relationship weighed down by the expectation that Noah, a junior Rabbi at his congregation, marry a Jewish woman. The two are drawn to one another instantly, but as their relationship deepens and they discuss their future, the reality of their situation sets in, eventually leading Noah to ask Joanne if she would ever convert. 

As a lover of all things romance, I wanted to root for Joanne and Noah, but as the show progressed, it was difficult for me to enjoy their romance when its very antagonists were the Jewish women in Noah’s life. In the first episode, Noah breaks things off with his fiancée, Rebecca (Emily Arlook, “Grown-ish”), after she snoops around and finds the engagement ring Noah purchased for her. She even conspires with his mother about a possible wedding venue, all before Noah even has the chance to propose. 

Nearly all the Jewish women in Noah’s life are like this: selfish, manipulative and entitled. They nag their husbands, breastfeed their children until kindergarten and are harpies to anyone who tries to interject themselves into their circle. At one point, Rebecca runs into Joanne’s sister, Morgan (Justine Lupe, “Succession”) — equally “shiksa” — and makes up a lie about how she and Noah are still in contact, all in an attempt to sabotage Noah and Joanne’s relationship. As I reached the end of the series, I was forced to come to a startling conclusion: This show hates me. It seems to be a direct insult to Jewish women everywhere, portraying them as conniving and manipulative. As the credits rolled at the end of the last episode, I found myself asking, “Who would watch this series and actually want to date a Jewish woman afterward?” 

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. Jewish women on screen have historically been characterized in broad stereotypes. Their characters tend to be undesirable, annoying and have huge noses. While this has begun to slowly shift, “Nobody Wants This” seems to take a huge step backward. The creator of the show, Erin Foster (“Barely Famous”) based the narrative on her own experience being married to a Jewish man as a non-Jewish woman, but in the process of doing so, has seemingly cloaked all of her female Jewish characters in a shroud of stereotypes to maneuver the plot.

Noah, on the other hand, is portrayed as nothing short of a saint. He’s the moral center of the show, helping Joanne heal her past relationship trauma, all while succeeding so well in his rabbinical role that he is offered the head rabbi position at his temple. Never once is the viewer tempted to ask if Noah is in the wrong — should he even be pursuing a relationship with a non-Jewish woman? Why doesn’t he do a better job of protecting Joanne from his mother and sisters? Why does he think it’s appropriate to ask Joanne to convert? Instead, all responsibility for the obstacles Noah and Joanne face either lie with Joanne and her lack of Jewishness, or the Jewish women who are intent on tearing Joanne down at every available opportunity. This negative treatment even extends to Morgan, who is portrayed as getting in the middle of Noah’s brother Sasha’s (Timothy Simons, “Candy”) marriage near the show’s conclusion, when Noah’s mother and sister-in-law declare that both Joanne and her sister have “got to go.” Even characters secondary to Noah otherwise cannot escape the grasps of the conniving, selfish Jewish women in his life.

My frustration was only enhanced by the fact that the show’s central conflict doesn’t hold much validity. As a Jewish viewer, I appreciate Noah’s commitment to his religion and community. I too have battled with the question of whether or not I could ever marry, or even date, someone who is not Jewish. However, I fear the show over-generalizes this conundrum. Noah does not appear to be Orthodox, or even conservative, for that matter. Intermarriage rates among American Jews have risen exponentially over the past several decades. Excluding Orthodox Jews, a study by Pew Research Center found that 72% of Jewish people who have married since 2010 have a non-Jewish spouse. Obviously, intermarriage rates among rabbis are lower, but it is certainly not unheard of and begs the question if this is really a problem at all or just a plot device used to portray the Jewish women in Noah’s life as selfish and controlling.

As the show came to an end, I found myself not relieved that Noah and Joanne were going to try and make their relationship work, but frustrated that this conclusion came at the cost of every Jewish woman in the show being put through the wringer. Joanne is presented to the audience as brave and beautiful for daring to say no to conversion and forge her own path. She wins Noah back in a sweeping moment that should have made me blush and cry. Yet all I could think about was Rebecca, who was left in the dust after a stone-cold exchange with Joanne, during which she asked her if she was really ready to be a rabbi’s wife and implied that Joanne was stealing her dream life from her. Though Rebecca was certainly not in the right for much of the show’s narrative, I found myself increasingly upset that a character who had every right to be hurt (who wouldn’t be after their fiance moved on from their relationship at lightning speed?) was being reduced to a jealous ex-girlfriend out to get our brave and beautiful protagonist. I found myself feeling oddly sympathetic to her struggles — and not just because we share a name. I even began to wonder if I would have reacted any differently in this situation, or if Rebecca would have been offered a different treatment by the show if she was a blonde woman.

I wish that the show had left me with more than just pent-up frustration. Joanne and Noah really do have a heartwarming relationship that has made viewers around the world swoon. But how could I reduce the show to just an adorable rom-com when its positive portrayal of Joanne and Noah comes at the cost of the negative portrayal of every Jewish woman on screen? Joanne is the beautiful blonde-haired “shiksa” who charms the Jewish boy, and characters like Rebecca are the dull, desperate and controlling Jewish women who don’t fit the typical beauty standard and have to vie for any romantic attention at all. I should have turned off my TV and felt uplifted and happy. I mean, who doesn’t feel that way after watching a fun rom-com? Instead, I just felt bad about myself. 

These stereotypes are tired and overused. Jewish women are not selfish and conniving. They are smart, beautiful and loving. They are doctors, lawyers, writers and role models, and they deserve on-screen representation that reflects that. I hope that when “Nobody Wants This” returns for a second season, it flips these stereotypes on their head and gives the Jewish women in Noah and Joanne’s world storylines worth watching and celebrating. 

Senior Arts Editor Rebecca Smith can be reached at rebash@umich.edu. 

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