As I reminisce about my elementary school days, I miss having recess and playing the various games that my friends invented on the playground. We pretended to fly when jumping off swing sets and reenacted scenes from the “Percy Jackson and the Olympians” series, but our favorite activity was roleplaying. While many of my girl friends fought to have the tomboy part, no one wanted to be the “girly girl.” To play the latter role meant to be hysterical and bratty, which were traits that few of my friends wished to associate with.
Years later, my peers’ tendency to embody the “tomboy” has continued to discourage me from embracing femininity. I choose to wear pants instead of skirts and abstain from wearing makeup. As I reflect on my behaviors, however, I realize that I never asked myself why I shy away from activities that I want to engage in.
I am not alone. In fact, many women have felt discouraged from taking part in traditionally feminine activities such as wearing lipstick or liking glitter. To encourage each other to embrace these aspects of identity, we must normalize participating in feminine activities and should not disparage people who embody these behaviors.
Promoting women’s activities is important, given the cultural devaluation of femininity. Ritch C. Savin-Williams, professor emeritus of developmental psychology at Cornell University, writes that girls have greater latitude than boys to engage in cross-gender behavior, such as wearing traditionally masculine clothing or participating in traditionally masculine activities. This permission highlights our culture’s preference for masculinity and, as a result, the status of inferiority placed on femininity.
Works of art from this past year have challenged the seeming inferiority of femininity. Last October, I wrote about the strong influence of “Barbie”, The Eras Tour and the Renaissance World Tour in encouraging attendees to embrace their feminine interests in film and music.
These works of art also pushed the “girl economy” into the mainstream and challenged the stigma surrounding the word “fangirl.” In particular, artists’ massive fan bases reclaimed this word as a point of pride.
Fangirls are not mindless supporters of the latest trends. Rather, they leverage their vast spending power to uplift female artists, dictate cultural conversations and push for greater inclusivity within the music industry. By now engaging with concerts and films created by women, fangirls challenge the association between femininity and inferiority and strengthen the link between women’s activities and strength.
We can also advocate for the acceptance of feminine activities beyond music and film. For instance, in literature, readers challenge generalizations of the lack of artistic value in romance novels. Fueled by an explosion of BookTok and the pandemic-era desires for a “happily ever after,” the demand for these novels has increased the number of romance bookstores nationwide and demonstrates the cultural and commercial value of this conventionally feminine genre.
Outside of literature, we can also challenge the dismissal of historically feminine fitness pastimes. For example, a majority of group fitness attendees are women, and many people disparage activities like Pilates by generalizing all of women’s exercise as “easy.” However, an increasing number of men attend Pilates classes and admit the benefits of this exercise in training different parts of the body.
That said, we do not have to spend money on romance novels or fitness classes to participate in the growing movement to uplift femininity. Rather, this movement draws its strength from its emphasis on community. It provides non-judgmental spaces to bond with others who are similarly excited about certain activities, especially for people whose hobbies were previously dismissed.
There is a fine line between promoting gender empowerment and promoting gender roles, and we must be careful not to fall into the wrong category. Still, we too often brush over all feminine activities as frivolous. Strength in numbers can reverse this trend, as we empower people to explore their interests and identity together. Other ways that we can normalize women’s activities and build communities include participating in feminine fashion trends, gathering friends for a self-care night or joining online communities based on specific interests. One method to draw a more distinct line between gender empowerment and roles is to recognize the diversity of behaviors that we embody. Self-proclaiming as a “tomboy” and participating in feminine activities are not mutually exclusive, and we can enjoy feminine activities without basing our entire identity around them.
As I reflect on my childhood years, I trace my reluctance to using hair accessories or to reading the “Rainbow Magic” series to my desire of fitting in. Years later, I am learning to challenge sexist constructions of women’s activities and embrace aspects of femininity in my identity.
I am grateful for the online and in-person spaces that we create to cultivate pride in our hobbies and invite others to uncover aspects of their identity. Going forward, I look forward to planning outfit combinations with my friends and discussing Taylor Swift songs with classmates, feeling thankful for this strong community and excited about our ways to collectively embrace femininity.
Sarah Zhang is an Opinion Columnist who writes about gender, race and campus culture. She can be reached at sarzhang@umich.edu.
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