yours truly, an ex-“feminist”

Author’s Note: I would like to clarify that despite the marginalizing gaps and inconsistencies within Western feminism, abandoning it as a whole will only result in further prejudice. As women, and specifically women of Color, it is our responsibility to rewire this movement toward an equal and just agenda that fights and protects all women. We must refuse to hide under the same blanket of “feminism” where those who pick and choose who deserves righteousness cower. I dedicate this piece to the young girls and women in Gaza, who have not stopped persevering for their survival and freedom, and who will continue to do so well after you finish reading.

dear feminists, 

dear activists,

dear difference-makers,

Dear Women,

Whether you are young or old or right in the middle, single or married or widowed, employed or studying or a stay-at-home mom, a mother of many or maybe just one — this is addressed to you.

I must admit, one of my favorite aspects of my identity is the fact that I’m a woman. I love being a “girl’s girl” and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I love being a daughter and a sister, and I love having a girl best friend. What I love most, however, is the unconditional unity and understanding between us all. The authenticity and empathy shared among all women is a universal phenomenon that I have only just begun to scratch the surface of as an 18 year old. I was only ever able to identify transient glimpses of such unfathomable unity — beginning innocently through moments like being asked to “check” my friend as she left the lunch table and deepening as I grew from a girl to a woman. Although my admiration for such bonds has yet to cease, my gravitation toward those relationships has faltered after my acquired sense of womanhood was shattered. The trust and faith I once thoughtlessly extended has dwindled with the lack of support and solidarity among women, constructing an entirely new perspective of disillusionment founded on the Western definition of feminism.

At the ripe age of nine, I deemed myself to be a feminist. In fourth grade we read a biography on Malala Yousafzai and it was safe to say that I was nothing short of awed. I mean, could you blame me? She was everything I strived to be, demonstrating a strength and resilience I never thought I’d be able to embody. Soon after, my intrigue in women of history only intensified, and my desire to possess the same qualities as these inspiring leaders grew with fervor. From Malala to Rosalind Franklin to Ruth Bader Ginsburg, my concept of feminism roughly entailed the push for women to lead, succeed and change the world.

However, as I grew older, my perception on feminism drastically shifted, as I began to notice gaps and inconsistencies within a movement I had once fully embraced. Today, being a “feminist” feels more predominantly geared toward first-world issues like the pink tax or the wage gap. This pervasive perception of women’s activism encapsulates criteria-based obstacles that are faced by a limited group of people. It has turned a blind eye to problems like lack of education, extreme poverty, little healthcare and war faced by millions of women around the globe, and instead only focuses on the smaller scope of issues like bodily autonomy and women’s equality in America alone. These focal points of Western feminism should not be abandoned and their importance is unquestionable, but to minimize women’s equality to this set of grievances when specific populations of women are struggling to simply stay alive is blatantly ignorant. We have unfortunately grown accustomed to a world where it is normal for thousands of women to march for “My Body, My Choice” but take a seat when women just like them are on the other side of the globe fighting for survival. Despite Western feminism growing toward a more inclusive agenda due to the rise of marginalized individuals fighting for their place in the movement, this evolution has simultaneously remained contained to a smaller scope that barely skims the surface of women’s rights. This branch of feminism has excluded those who comparatively require urgent activism due to the inequity that has mounted for decades. My once naive belief in a universal solidarity shared between all women was painfully dismantled, and before I knew it, I became stuck under the rolling waves of White Woman Feminism and my once proud beliefs in being a feminist were quickly snuffed.

After Oct. 7, 2023, the overwhelming selective activism I had witnessed had me taken aback, and I forfeited my belief in what I soon realized was mainstream Western feminism. My voice as an Arab-American woman was no match for the tide of fierce activism spearheaded by white women vouching for their version of so-called “inclusive” womanhood — the same women who refrain from treading into territory that strays from their familiar communities when the lives of people of Color are also at stake. What was somehow worse, however, was that same silence and passivity from women of Color. I could not wrap my head around the fact that even the women who had to fight tooth and nail for their own equity still did not align themselves with this collective intersectional movement, neglecting the women just like them in Palestine. All my belief in solidarity was lost when those who I had so undoubtedly trusted to understand this prioritization of liberating a marginalized group — let alone those suffering a genocide — fell short. Feminism has been twisted into a quasi-private playground to gain strength and empowerment for a narrower set of goals that are entirely important but simultaneously devote selective attention to the equity that women of Color — the original trailblazers for equal rights — deserve and still lack. Although the silence among the women who lead our movement today has been deafening, the fact that so many others vouched their support for a genocidal state was a knife to the heart. As I watched more women continue to abandon their support for the Palestinian people, my disappointment only deepened with every tragedy inflicted upon Palestine. 

As coverage of the ethnic cleansing has become more prevalent in mainstream media and news, the world has begun to learn what it has meant to be a Palestinian for the last 76 years as the quality of life of Palestinians has perpetually spiraled downward. Women giving birth in tents, without pain medication or anesthesia. Women being sexualized, abused, raped and ridiculed and forced from their homes. Women using tent scraps in place of menstrual hygiene products. How was it possible that the same women who were previously fighting for reproductive rights, equal pay and against domestic violence seemed to lose their voices when it came to the suffering ongoing in the Middle East? When did the manipulative weaponization of Islamic societies being “oppressive” toward their people become justification for crimes against humanity? How did so many voices suddenly become silent in response to media that presents fabricated and biased pieces against a country and people being ethnically cleansed before our eyes? The unity and empathy I once trusted to lay the foundation of womanhood was permanently fractured, filling me with shame. 

Through my phone screen, I watch Palestinian infants, children, women and men in utter despair. In the moments too gruesome to watch, still I force myself to witness the tears, injuries and deaths. I advocate for Palestine’s freedom from apartheid and acknowledge the terror and cruelty being inflicted on the Palestinian people, as it is the most I can do. My previous beliefs in women fighting for what is right with total solidarity are challenged: The reality I witness is that Western “feminism” today is contingent upon borders, politics, race, religion and nationality. It is selective; it is unjust. It fights for few and leaves those in worse states to themselves. Death and tragedy in the Middle East does not count as death and tragedy to the United States. 

Many of those who are born and raised in America are subjected to the facade labeled as “feminism”. We often forget that our day-to-day issues can be a dream to people just like us on the other side of the world. The lack of understanding in what it means to live in a third world country creates a close-minded mirage that hides the “ugly” and projects various versions of what life looks like for people in these conditions to media across the world. In refusing to dismantle this barrier, we only continue down a path of purposeful ignorance. We continue to accept the fact that we are so poorly informed on global presences of feminism outside of Western perspectives. It is harmful neglect: In reality, the women fighting for liberation against colonizing and sexual violence and systemic oppression are no different than ourselves. There is no pedestal separating us from them; there is no equity in our different levels of obstacles. However, “feminism” in Western society today has failed on numerous levels to fully acknowledge liberation and freedom for women outside of not just the United States, but intersectional issues that are systemic and unjust. 

I call upon those who have advocated for sexual assault awareness. Those who have fought for a woman’s right to choose. Those who have vocalized for the right for equal pay and equal representation. Those who support survivors of domestic violence. Those who identify as a “feminist,” an “activist” or a “difference-maker”: I implore you to reflect on whether you have neglected the people in Palestine. Whether you have ignored calls for help, the blocked humanitarian aid and the inhumane acts of the Israel Occupation Forces. Whether you have selectively chosen when to spread awareness, or when to fight for what is right; whether you have abandoned women just like you. Feminism was founded on womanhood captured by shared struggles, triumphs and experiences between all women, no matter what they look like or where they are from. Despite what it has accomplished, it has never ceased to exclude women of certain backgrounds, creating an inevitable disillusionment when tragedies like the crisis in Palestine arise. I refuse to take part or be affiliated with those who pick and choose when to demand justice, shielding such actions with the blanket of “feminism.” We must work toward rebuilding feminism by introducing universal righteousness and justice that it has so often struggled to achieve. Remind yourselves and remember — feminism should not be conditional and no positive impact will be made with prejudice. 

Yours truly, 

An Ex-“Feminist”

MiC Columnist Ava Faraj can be reached at avafaraj@umich.edu

The post yours truly, an ex-“feminist” appeared first on The Michigan Daily.


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