Friends should intellectually challenge you

When I imagined college as a place for intellectual growth, I visualized riveting exchanges with professors and radical arguments in textbooks. When I stepped foot on campus, however, I realized that my ivy-covered academia fantasies perpetuated rigid expectations of what qualified as “growing my perspective,” and I had underestimated the importance of developing relationships with my peers to spur my personal growth. 

In fact, building trust with others helps us feel safe when interacting with new ideas, therefore we must continuously expose ourselves to new people and thoughts on campus. While we frequently hear about the benefits of exposure to different perspectives, such as encouraging our continuous learning or helping us counteract personal biases, we often overlook trust as a critical factor for intellectual growth. We should prioritize finding a sense of belonging, as strong relationships cultivate feelings of safety. With this foundation of community, we become more open to hearing our friends’ perspectives and engaging in productive dialogue. 

On campus, there are multiple opportunities to develop friendships and gain exposure to new ideas. One way is to take classes outside of our intended major. By exploring ideas across disciplines, we commit ourselves to learning for its own sake and building important skills that can help with our own academic specialization, such as critical thinking or communication. 

Beyond textbooks and lecture slides, taking classes outside of our major helps us form connections with students from different academic backgrounds. Last year, I took MATH 116 as a class outside of my intended areas of study, economics and history. The calculations for oddly-shaped solids and the one correct answer for each problem were starkly different from the open-ended questions of my other classes. Luckily, I reached out and made lecture friends, and I adopted their technique of identifying patterns across problems as my key for success. 

Outside of their different approaches to solving math problems, I learned about their motivations for studying a subject I abhorred. I listened as my classmates recounted their goals of becoming engineers or simply their appreciation for the logical perfection of numbers. I walked away from the class with study buddies who expanded my perspectives both inside and outside of the classroom. 

While we typically build community with peers who are like us, we can still find opportunities to intellectually challenge our friends who are similar to us. For example, we can attend guest lectures with friends. The University of Michigan attracts a multitude of guest lecturers every week. These speakers provide invaluable insight into their career paths and their professional interests, and students have the unique opportunity to engage with these expert perspectives through talks. 

In January, I attended the University’s annual symposium for Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. I listened to Michelle Alexander’s keynote address as she highlighted this year’s global changes, including the evolution of artificial intelligence technology. My friend and I debriefed her talk over lunch, and we evaluated the implications of AI technology and whether it was inherently beneficial or destructive for our futures. While we stood firm with our original stances, our conversation demonstrated the importance of intellectual challenge between friends and reinforced the value of building community and trust for thorny conversations. 

Despite the importance of building strong relationships, challenges that promote personal growth do not always stem from friends. For instance, our living environments present opportunities to interact with those who we do not view as close friends, such as a random roommate. Whether a freshman chooses this option for their dorm experience or an upperclassman selects a total stranger from Roomsurf, [COPY: link this] a random roommate provides an opportunity to step outside of our own bubble and learn how to co-exist with a completely new person. 

During my freshman year, I joined the Residential College and lived with a random roommate through this living-learning community. We hailed from different states, had different cultural backgrounds and studied different subjects. Despite our differences, we developed a positive roommate relationship, and I learned to trust her and communicate with her even though we were not best friends. I realized that differences in lifestyle and communication preferences, not just intellectual ideas or ideological differences, were also critical for cultivating my own open-mindedness. 

In addition to navigating roommate relationships, joining clubs provides another non-academic opportunity to expand our perspective. At the start of every academic year, Festifall provides students with a snapshot of each of the University’s 1,600 organizations. Students should explore every row of booths and attend meetings for all the clubs that catch our eye, evaluating which organizations we would stick with. 

To bridge personal exploration and community, I attended last year’s Festifall with a new friend. I enjoyed our discussions about the unique booth set-ups and sharing a mission to acquire as many flyers and free items as possible. With my friend’s keen eye, I revisited booths that I had missed during my first walk-through, and I learned more about her interests in medicine and dance. Most of all, we discovered our shared passions and found various art-related clubs, where we would explore new activities together. 

Given that we often live in our own bubble, trusting others is critical in finding the similarities that we often obscure. Learning from each other is as important as learning inside of the classroom, and we can balance these opportunities to build open-mindedness on campus — as long as we open up to each other and grow together.

Sarah Zhang is an Opinion Columnist who writes about gender, race and campus culture. She can be reached at sarzhang@umich.edu.

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