I hate pizza. It’s greasy, messy and unhealthy. As someone with lactose intolerance, it makes my stomach nauseous, even when I use Lactaid. It’s also awkward at club events when everybody around me is eating and I’m not because the only thing on the menu is pizza. Personal gripes aside though, I also hate what pizza has come to represent: a corporate Band-Aid for a broken office culture.
Pizza as a social food isn’t new. Since childhood, most of us have attended at least one party — either at school or at a friend’s place — where pizza was served as the main dish. As we transitioned from grade school to college, a slice of pizza from Joe’s Pizza or New York Pizza Depot became emblematic of post-party cravings and late-night study sessions. Corporations, though, capitalize on this affection for pizza when they throw their infamous pizza parties to boost employee morale.
I understand why companies choose pizza as their go-to meal for their mandated events. It’s cheap, easy to buy in bulk and one of the most popular foods in the world — Americans eat enough slices a year to fill a suitcase. The problem arises when executives think pizza parties are a substitute for fairly compensating employees. Sure, it may bring the office together, but only in the short term. If companies want long-term retention, they need to stop throwing cheesy parties and expecting employees to suddenly start liking their jobs again.
The Gilded Age was a historical era where America’s industrial economy was booming but only benefited the ultra-rich, and some say that the Second Gilded Age is now upon us. Only 49% of Americans are satisfied with their work. With company profits at an all-time high, the top 1% of the socio-economic spectrum continue to get richer, while the bottom 99% struggle to stay afloat. As a result of COVID-19 inflation, companies are trying to reset wages back to pre-pandemic levels. The cost of living, however, isn’t going down with them, making some jobs — even positions that require a bachelor’s degree — blatantly unlivable. Therefore, when corporations decide to reward their underpaid staff’s hard work with a pizza party instead of increasing their salaries, the gesture comes off as cheap, when they could be spending a lot more.
Company loyalty is also diminishing. The average American spends 4.1 years with their company. Roughy 44 million people quit their jobs in 2023. Unlike previous generations, who picked companies fresh out of college and stayed there for 50 years, younger generations are less willing to put up with toxic workplace environments, thus short-term solutions like pizza parties aren’t effective at keeping them pleased.
Pizza parties also come across as performative. Company-sponsored food can qualify as a deductible, meaning it lowers the amount a corporation needs to pay in taxes at the end of a year, allowing them to generate more profit. Pizza parties were never about the employee; it was about the companies wanting to appear like they care about their staff without having to raise their pay.
The problem is simple: Corporations are worrying too much about short-run engagement. Pizza parties are just one of the short-run solutions that managers employ to create a “fun” workplace. It’s easier to say “We are all a family here!” than it is to actually create an environment where employees feel valued.
Short-run solutions are also cheaper. If a company is making record profits with the system it currently has in place, they have no incentive to drastically switch up its ways. But workers aren’t dumb; managers may notice a boost in engagement after a new perk is introduced, but employees pick up on the temporary nature of the fix. The more corporate departments invest in short-term perks, the less effective (and productive) they become, and the more manipulative they appear to be.
The solution companies are looking for doesn’t lie in the cheese, but in the dough. If companies want better retention and better office culture, it has to be genuine and top-down. Executives can afford to give up a yacht or two in order for their employees to be paid a livable wage. Up to a certain extent, money can buy happiness. Starting with paying employees wages they actually deserve can make people want to invest more into the company. Paying more competitive wages also helps with employees jumping ship every four years to another job.
Of course, money isn’t everything that goes into boosting worker morale — H.R. departments also need to look into more long-term solutions. Creating a space where people want to come into work proves far more effective at boosting employee satisfaction than the occasional delivery from Little Caesars. Companies that experimented with floor plans that support all kinds of work styles saw an increase in performance and profits. Additionally, 84% of organizations surveyed by Businesswire said a lack of focus on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion programs contributed to employee turnover. Stronger DEI initiatives could reverse this trend.
As college students, Corporate America is a very real possibility for post-graduation. Offices with a strong “pizza party” culture should be avoided at all costs. It’s the yeast you can do.
Liv Frey is an Opinion Columnist writing about any and all kinds of relationships one can encounter in college. For questions, comments, concerns, inquiries or theories please reach out at livfrey@umich.edu.
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